Listing Lessons: Spiritual Resistance and Emotions

My friend asked as we drove down the gravel driveway to Andrew's house.

For context, Andrew and I each had a home with a previous partner. We each bought our ex out of the homes and still owned these properties when we got engaged.  Also, we each had a low interest rate compared to the higher rates we are now seeing. The questions were valid, and at that point, there had been soo much indecision as to what we wanted to do with the property, where we wanted to be, and how we wanted to merge lives, it would make your head spin. I couldn’t possibly break it down to my friends in one singular reason so I said…. "It's an energy."  Did I royally fail at fully explaining this at the time….. Yes.  After we had explored and fumbled through allllll the options and tried them all on…..there was finally just a knowing.

As I spill the tea, I hope you find this story relatable and allow it to remind you of a few spiritual lessons. For the sake of not confusing every person that reads this, I'm going to refer to the properties as “his house” and “my house”. Just a heads up.

Early 2024 after Andrew and I returned from our elopement in Sedona. We were still not quite sure what we wanted to do with each house. Andrew’s new office was in Baton Rouge,  closer to my house. We decided to live in my house to shorten his commute and get our Chip and Joanna Gaines on and start fixing up his house. We agreed to revisit the decision periodically since we still weren't quite sure. Y'all the process was a MESS. We were met with crazy (price gouging) quotes, people who would eventually walk off jobs, our favorite plumber taking ill and closing shop, among other frustrating situations. We were also doing this while I was operating my newly opened  practice. Andrew was navigating a job relocation and I remember thinking, why is it so freaking hard to get these things done on this house?! It felt like we were moving through mud. What was Spirit and the universe  trying to tell us?!!

Andrew was soon given an option to work remotely and he started using his house as his home office, as I also work from home and 2 home offices were not in the cards for my house just yet. As time passed, we discussed turning his house into a rental, then discussed making it a wellness center, or a place to operate a non profit.  Eventually one day I woke up and felt like a wellness center was not what I wanted. I couldn’t explain it…. I loved having events and gatherings there, but the passion I thought I had for that kind of  mission was just not there. Something was off.  I almost felt like Spirit was telling me “not yet” it wasn't quite right. Later, we found out zoning would have made a wellness center near impossible.

Soon I started noticing very little was getting done with renovations, specifically Andrew was not leading this project the way I hoped. I thought maybe Andrew was fearful of selling it and maybe he really wanted to keep it. As discussions about his house continued,  we decided to live in his house after we finished  it, until the day we stumbled upon an open house for a new build.  I was so resistant to going in, but Andrew insisted. As we walked in the front door, I could feel Andrew relax like he hadn’t in months. I thought it was all work related stress but then I knew….. he did want to sell his house. The stuck feeling I was sensing was energetic. Looking back writing this, I'm thinking, DUH how did I miss it...growth is funny like that. 

As we drove home from the new build open house, Andrew said he  wanted to sell his house and the style and feel of the new build  is what he envisioned for us. I giggled as I thought this was his version of a vision board. Something about the decision just felt right. Things started to subtly shift. Andrew ended up accidentally reconnecting with an old grade school friend who owned a residential construction company and he started on some of the repairs that were needed– without issue. Project quotes started coming back that were much more feasible and we quickly realized how unaligned the other options for this house really were. But we definitely weren’t at the end of the learning curve.  Little did I know this house was going to change us. It was going to sharpen our communication, sharpen us as a couple—- in the way that iron sharpens iron.

I could feel Andrew's work stress and this energy he wore that wasn’t his. I could also feel his anxiety start to rise. The firm he had been working for was completely out of alignment for him. I was proud of him for being the voice of reason and the light in an office that needed it. I started noticing my frustration with the plateau we had reached on his house. I started to acknowledge my frustration with him.  I decided to let him have his journey with this house. I knew something was healing for him spiritually, but it didn't  mean the frustration went away. I acknowledged it, held space for it, but didn't unpack in the frustration. 

Not (consciously) realizing the timing, I booked my yearly reading with Leigh Ann Wells. She could feel Andrew’s stress and anxiety on me ....around me….. she told me spirit was showing her the analogy of Andrew being the bright light that switches on in a dark room, the firm he was working for being the dark room.  She confirmed that Andrew was just vibrating higher than his surroundings, but that he would fulfill his purpose there and move on. She also confirmed what we already sensed, that the decision to sell Andrew's house was right for us and we could have movement in that aspect as well. 

As the beginning of 2025 rolled around, I was tired of the expense of multiple properties and the mental energy it took. Andrew could not have been slower with all the things that still needed to be done. So many times I stopped to check in with him, asking, “Is this really what you want, to sell the house?”   He would always reassure me of the decision. I had so many questions and I knew he didn't know why he was moving slower than freaking molasses! But soon.... I knew why. 

As I mentioned, Andrew bought his house with an ex. As you can imagine, many of the memories there were not happy. I was realizing that despite the unhappiness of the relationship, the home was the first place he could be himself, find himself, and love himself in the thick of his healing phase.  It was a story of redemption, self-love and one that had nothing to do with me. It wasn't a question of did he want to sell the house…. It was a question of when this spiritual and energetic lesson would come to a close.

When it came to his house, he was in a functional freeze of sorts. In every other aspect of life he was precise, sharp, quick, and damn good at his job. I couldn't believe I missed it. Again, this wasn't about me (in the best way. I wasn't suppose to know or see it all before this, for my own growth.  Closing the book on this house was healing a part of him. His spiritual and emotional evolution was mirroring his journey with this house. My frustration was my signal that it was time to help him close that book, end that era, land that plane (any other analogies lol).

 I was also taken back. He didn't ask for additional help. When I talked to him about this, he said I asked and offered and tried in my words and actions and at every turn, but it was pride, fear, and avoidance. Again this wasn't about me, in the best way.  As Andrew did inevitably move on from the firm he worked for, he had a bit more energetic bandwidth. After checking in with myself and Spirit, I energetically and verbally put my foot down. I really disliked these tense conversations, but it brought up a lot of  feelings that were important for us both to acknowledge.  I finally took the lead and I told him when and what step was starting and how it was going to be done. Apparently us Virgo’s are proficient at knowing what everyone else should be doing—— jkjk 

When it was all said and done, Andrew thanked me and told me he needed it…. needed  the direction, someone to take charge, and needed someone to understand. I think it helped seeing the bigger “healing” picture. He thanked me for having this experience of finding balance with him. He said. once the completion momentum was there and he was able to accept that he wasn’t alone in this physically, mentally or energetically– it felt like something clicked.  He leads in so many ways and I allow it because I trust his decisions. It was nice to see (in action) he not only trust my spiritual leadership, but also “accepts my influence”  as renowned marriage researcher, John Gottman, says.  

As silly as this example may be, I hope this illustrates how sometimes, in the very material world, energetics and spiritual lessons are at play and worth considering. I hope it’s a reminder that sometimes seemingly difficult emotions like frustration and anger are just road signs pointing us to what needs to be addressed. These emotions don't need to be villainized—- because they are just that —emotions or transitory states we can move through and transmute. 

Let this be your reminder that sometimes the resistance or situation is just not about us. Its not personal, but how we find balance is our lesson.

Let this be your reminder that in loving relationships, difficult conversations can lead to deeper, healing, levels of understanding. These conversations may even help them learn about themselves– as much as we are learning about our own emotional landscape. Maybe the uncomfortable or vulnerable  conversations are just opportunities to be loved. 

I learned a lot about Andrew and our tendencies during the house listing process, but I also learned about myself. For all my Human design lovers, I saw my “not self” in action. I’m a 6/2 projector with a “not self”  of bitterness. That stuck in the mud feeling….. bitterness that needed to be  addressed. I was also reminded that just because I can do something (like open a wellness space), doesn’t mean I should or that it will serve me. It reminded  me  I needed to trust myself,  especially about when to take the lead, when to rest, and to listen to my gut.

Whether you are selling or buying a home, collaborating, or some other project, may you find healing and knowledge in the resistance, be open to conversations and opportunities to be loved, and be reminded that energy is always a play. 

If you have made it this far in the blog post, thank you for being here. You are appreciated. I hope you will subscribe to our newsletter, travel with us on retreat  or  hang out with us on social media. 

Love, 

Whitney from Luna Souls